I have a goal.
In 2012 I will: Run a Marathon.
I began running about 5 1/2 years ago while Anthony was in law school. I needed something to relieve the stresses of life so I began working out, and it all started with the Couch to 5k program. When I started it was hard, but in no time I could run a 5k on the treadmill. Then I translated it to outdoor running and I ran in my first 5k that July. That September I also competed in a Sprint Triathlon. It was so much fun, it was so gratifying, I wanted to do more. But then, well, I found out I was pregnant and ideas of more had to wait.
Since then I’ve been an off again on again runner. Never really finding my grove again. I did do a half marathon in 2011, but no other races. When I began running the idea of a marathon sounded nuts. Why on earth would anyone want to do that? I didn’t know. But about 2 years ago I watched an episode of Biggest Loser where they ran a marathon, and the bug hit me. If they could do that, I could too. And if I could do that, well then there isn’t anything I couldn’t do.
I have made excuse after excuse to keep me from doing this, but inside I’ve held that desire to run a full marathon. So, I finally decided enough excuses. I am setting the goal and doing it this year. But, then I set the goal and kind of kept it quiet so I could change my mind. I could opt out at the last minute because I wasn’t really prepared. What if I couldn’t? What if I didn’t train enough? What if I disappoint myself? What if I disappoint others?
But about 2 weeks ago I decided enough excuses. I am doing this. And as of last night I have a training schedule all planned. But as I was struggling through 2 miles yesterday (because when you take a 5 month break from running 2 miles is hard)doubt re-entered my head. How on earth did I think I could run 26.2 miles if I was currently struggling through 2? This just couldn’t be possible. I should give up.
And then it came to me. My moment of inspiration that I know will carry me through all the hard trials and doubts that will surely come as I train.
I am running a marathon for many reasons, but not the least of them is because I tell these 3 they can do anything they set their mind to. I tell them to set their goals high and settle for nothing less. But, if I can’t live that advice, if I can’t find it within myself to think big, reach high and in the process stretch, grow, push and then accomplish – how then can I expect them to take on the “marathons” in their own life?
And so, for that and many other reasons, I run. I am choosing to leave fear behind and just run.