If I Could Go Back

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Last night as Anthony and I were going to bed we did our usual check on each of the kids. Their rooms are on our way to ours so one at a time we peek in, see what sort of weird way they’re sleeping, cover them up with their blanket and say a final good night. As we were doing this I asked him, “If you could go back in time to when they were younger would you?”

His answer was an immediate, “Yes.” Then he followed with something like, “I wouldn’t go back to stay but just to remember and experience it again for a little bit.”

I totally agree with him, so this got me thinking – what ages would I like to revisit?

#1: Infancy. I would love to go back to when each of my children were first born and spend a good few hours just snuggling them, remembering them as an infant, feeling their soft skin, hearing their coo’s, and even their cry again. How beautiful it would be to experience that all over again just for a few hours.

#2: 18 months. The world is still so new to them at 18 months and I’d love to experience a few hours of wonder with them again at that age. I’d love to hold their chubby little hands again, to remember just how they sounded when they spoke, and to get some hugs and kisses from my toddlers again.

#3: 3 or 4. I can’t decide which. There are so many quirky little things each of my kids did at these ages that they’ve completely grown out of and I’d love to hear and see it all again. Ethan had made up words he used regularly like they had meaning, Natalie changed clothes constantly and Bella had a phrase she used all the time that to this day Anthony and I still say and crack up about. I miss those kids.

All this being said we are currently at a pretty great time as parents. Our children are old enough to be self-sufficient but young enough to still want us around. They’re smart and caring individuals who are getting more and more opportunities because of their ages and while that means a busier life for me it means excitement for them. Life is pretty great where we are but there are times I long to re-experience the days of our past just one more time.


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